Transforming adversity · Verse 16 of 37
Verse 16: When betrayed by one you raised: love them more
Verse 16 of The Thirty-Seven Practices of Bodhisattvas, the fourteenth-century Tibetan poem by Gyalse Tokme Zangpo (1295–1369). It belongs to the section on transforming adversity.
Even if someone you have cared for as dearly as your own child regards you as an enemy, love that person even more, as a mother would her ailing child. This is the way of a bodhisattva.
Even if others whom I have cared for like children of my own
Should turn upon me and treat me as an enemy,
To regard them only with special fondness and affection,
As a mother would her ailing child—this is the practice of all the bodhisattvas.
Even if a person you have cared for as your own child
Treats you as his or her worst enemy,
Lavish him or her with loving attention
Like a mother caring for her ill child — this is the practice of a bodhisattva.
A facilitator's reading across the commentaries
The sickness/possession reframe is unanimous — the betrayal is evidence of their suffering. KS's boundary (love the person, still enforce the rule) is the crucial nuance for real communities and families; worth raising if the group treats these verses as passivity.
GR Garchen Rinpoche · HHDL H.H. the Dalai Lama · AB Dr. Alexander Berzin · KTGR Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso Rinpoche · KS Khenpo Sodargye · TC Ven. Thubten Chodron · KM Ken McLeod
What the teachers say
Garchen Rinpoche Drikung Kagyu
The betrayer is a sick person overwhelmed by karma and afflictions — helpless like a dying patient no doctor can save (citing Padmasambhava). If your compassion doesn't change them it still cannot fail: "Bodhicitta mind is like fire and these happenings are like fire wood." Explicitly extended to breakups and to those attacking the Dharma.
Full commentary: 37practices.info (37practices.info serves this as one long page; find the verse by number.)
H.H. the Dalai Lama Gelug
The possession analogy: a child seized by a spirit attacks his own mother — her task is to separate child from spirit and love him more. "We cannot hate a child or a man with a knife, because they are driven by delusion."
Full commentary: 37practices.info (37practices.info serves this as one long page; find the verse by number.)
Dr. Alexander Berzin Gelug
Runs on the verse's own parenting logic: a parent doesn't resent the toddler screaming "I hate you" or the sick child crying all night. The betrayer is "sick with some sort of emotional disturbance" — illness calls for more care, not less.
Full commentary: studybuddhism.com
Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso Rinpoche Karma Kagyu
The mother whose sick child refuses comfort responds with increased love. Story: Sukhasiddhi — beaten and expelled after giving away the family's last rice, and that ingratitude-driven exile made her a great yogini.
Full commentary: dharmaebooks.org (Free ebook, trans. Suzanne Schefczyk.)
Khenpo Sodargye Nyingma, Larung Gar
Cites Chandrakirti's mother of six caring most for the badly-behaved child: "All compassionate lords treat everyone equally, but they especially love and care for bad guys more." The ungrateful can't perceive kindness (no light, no flower seen). Distinctive edge: compassion is not indulgence — it targets persons, not their faults; his academy still expels vow-breakers, and that protects the Dharma rather than abandoning bodhicitta.
Full commentary: khenposodargye.org (Free ebook PDF.)
Ven. Thubten Chodron Sravasti Abbey, Gelug
Winter Retreat vv16–21 talk.
Full commentary: thubtenchodron.org
Ken McLeod Shambhala / independent
Talk 6; Tricycle v16 (the King Lear "serpent's tooth" prompt): deal with your own anger first — only then is loving attention authentic.
Full commentary: unfetteredmind.org (Tricycle's per-verse written commentary is behind a subscriber paywall.)
Further reading: Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, The Heart of Compassion (Shambhala). A purchased book — no text is reproduced here.